Never Wanted to Be Rich

 I never wanted to be rich. I never wanted to be famous. I would love to have published something or been considered or great or incisive writer with a unique style. I would love to be able to play the guitar or sing. I would love to have performed in a play or written a play that someone performed that rang true to many. The people I admire are rarely famous, but occasionally you hear someone famous speak and you say to yourself that they deserve to be famous. Genius is an overused word, but you meet them sometimes. Or you hear them from a distance. Moving out soon. Taking the books to my classroom that are high school appropriate. What is high school appropriate these days? I always like to push the envelope. To bring in the controversial or bring in reality a little to the classroom. They always say why can't you prepare them more for the real world. The classroom is in the real world. It's not sealed off. It allows in the good and the bad from the streets. 

My parents will be visiting at the end of June. I don't know how I feel about that. They're getting older and I'm getting older. One brother still hasn't picked up the telephone. One brother hasn't even texted. I haven't texted him either. I don't know what to say that wouldn't have a mound of subtext. He moved very far away and I don't have any kind of relationship with his kids. Everyone lives far away really. Would you want them any closer? Would that bring more problems. C's family handles it pretty well. They have their areas that they stay clear of and they fight every so often but they give each other space and then they come together again when they miss each other too much or for too long. 

I would love to travel again. I would love to take the kids on a trip. I would love to live in Mexico again with them. Maybe a Mexico of my dreams and not a Mexico that is the reality today. I would like them to speak Spanish and know that side of their culture. I would love for them to see the United States from the outside. 

What do you love about Mexico? Once your body has adjusted and you're not getting sick. The food. The Mexican breakfast. The Mexican pan de dulce. My suegra's cooking really. Better than most restaurants. The way she does enchiladas de verde. Pozole. Chilaquiles. The cheese. The Christmas traditions. The visual arts. Maybe I just want to visit and not live there. That was the dream from the before times that we would live down there in the summers and come back to work here during the school year. So far to afford living here on one salary though. 

What do you love about San Jose? The school playgrounds are nice. The parks are nice. Santa Cruz is close. Lake Tahoe is three hours away. The weather is nice. The Mexican food is good. I like my school. I like my job.