A moment to catch my breath. What a year! Move out of the house. Covid. Distance learning. Two young kids. Fearing for their safety and health and my own. Mental health issues in the family. Divorce in the family. Issues with a brother. Issues with parents over reading selections and classroom discussions. Presidential election. Paying debts. Paying rents. Preparing lessons. Managing my kids' interactions with other kids but still trying to push them to be self-sufficient and independent.
Having gone through so much with my wife. Is the love still there? Are we meant to be together? Am I capable of love? Is she the right person for me? Does she make me happy?
The conversations with one brother are good, but I feel I have to call him or he won't call me. The conversations with the other can be walking on egg shells. I don't feel the closeness with my parents. One of them is often there but won't come on the phone. Lurking in the background. The other one didn't give me the support I needed in a tough time. The common humanity and love was lacking. Something I sensed all along but it hit me hard because I really needed help in that moment.
I would like to perform my poems at an open mic. I would like to go to live theatre. I would like to go to a U.S National team game or an MLS game. I would like to see my son and daughter play soccer or run. I want to continue my writing. I want to continue my reading. I want to continue to get better at being an English teacher.
How to take all you've learned and integrate it into your daily practice?
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